I had my biannual infusion yesterday. Thank goodness! I just haven’t been able to fully recover from the stomach bug this summer. The infusion helps prevent new lesions from forming on my brain and spine but can’t do anything about the spots that have already formed. Those spots give me some pretty wild and awful symptoms that I have to live with on a daily basis.
For example… I used to love the shower. It was my refuge. It was the place I used to “take stock“. It’s the place I would go to cry and the place that I realized truths about myself and the world around me. I could sit in the shower for hours! I had an intense disliking for our uber small hot water tank growing up and spared no expense when it came to hooking up hot water on demand when we were building our current house. I could shower in the morning and again before bed and sometimes I would pop in before I went out that evening, just to rinse down. When I was a teenager, my Dad used to call them “hour showers“ and threatened to cut the water off because I would sit in there forever! I thought I could solve all the world’s problems if I just stood under super hot and super hard water long enough.
Ninja and I basically planned our entire wedding in the shower lol we always had the best conversations in the there because you have each other’s undivided attention lol. When we designed our primary bath, we built a shower big enough for both of us, each with our own shower head! It’s my favourite room in the whole house and I even included a small ledge in our walk-in shower for shaving! Every woman’s dream!
Fast-forward to present day. The reality of showering with MS is vastly different than showering pre-MS. On her podcast MeSsy about living with MS, Christina Applegate correctly calls her shower, “her glass box of emotions” lol. I agree. A tough shower can lead to cancelled plans. I always have to shower at night because a shower can ruin the day. And standing for 5 minutes??? In the heat??? Well that leads to brain fog and then I can’t even remember what to do in the shower!!!
These are 5 new things about my shower that make me dread what I used to cherish.
- Losing my hair. Every woman I know keeps on telling me that they are losing hair too and blame it on perimenopause. Maybe that’s it? Maybe I am experiencing perimenopause at the same time as trying to figure out MS, I mean, I am a pretty lucky person so that would check out lol. But your hair loss… isn’t my hair loss. I am losing handfuls of hair daily. Every shower I collect a ball of hair and then I brush my hair and clean out the brush and there’s another handful of hair! Half of them you can’t even see because they are white! I’ve never thought of myself as a vain person, but this is crossing my line Lol. Every time I painfully put my hands into my hair to wash it. There are less and less hair follicles to overstimulate my nerves. It’s a Catch-22 lol.
- Needing a stool. As of right now, I have our laundry room stepstool in our shower. I thought I was so smart putting in that little corner bench so I would have a place to put my foot when I was shaving my leg… If I only knew then what I know now! That corner stool is certainly big enough for my foot but not my 45 year old ass! Lol Sometimes I get dizzy. Sometimes my legs buckle. Sometimes the heat overwhelms me and I feel faint. I have the stool there in case I need it. I have needed it. Ninja has looked at those clinical white shower stools, but I have put up a big stop sign on that one lol. I have cleaned enough elderly people’s homes and helped my Nana in the bath often enough to know that I am too young to have that ugly stool in my beautiful shower. No. that’s another line I just do not want to cross. I get it, I need a shower stool/seat but can we make it cute at least?!
- Heat. I love love love a steaming, hot shower! In fact, we used to have a steam shower lol. But now, heat equals weakness. I could have the door open, the fan on, and still be overwhelmed by the heat and lose my balance. Cold water feels like icicles ripping through my skin as cold equals pain. So I have to settle for a warm shower. Yay! Mediocrity is my favourite lol. The worst thing about even a warm shower though is how much it drains me. When I get out, I’m a limp noodle and I have to lay down for a while to regain my strength. Every time.
- The feeling of the water. I know I’ve talked about this before, but one of my very first symptoms before I had an inkling that I had MS, was the feeling of the water hitting my skin. It’s like Chinese torture. It makes my skin crawl. I hate it. I cannot stand the rain shower feeling as it taps against my calves! It makes my skin itchy, and then I scratch so hard that I leave scratches and bruises everywhere. Water spraying my lower back makes my bum and thighs numb and the water hitting my hands feel like my hands are being bitten by thousands of insects. Not to mention what hair feels like in my hands (razor blades) as I scrub my hair or the exhaustion I feel having to raise my arms over my head?!?! My arms have zero strength and raising them over my head is a major work out. As soon as the water hits me I just want to get out.
- I’ve never been super body positive. I have never loved my body, but I’ve certainly never hated it either. I’ve always felt grateful for my high metabolism and somewhat athletic body. However now I look down and see a bruised, frail, and weak body. I mean, everybody is there most vulnerable in the shower, right? But I remember my body when it was a teenager’s body with perky boobs and a flat little tummy or in my 20s still with perky boobs lol just a few more curves and then my body as I was growing children! Both of my pregnancies were so different and my body looked different with both of them but it looked strong. It made two amazing human beings! And now it can barely hold itself up, and is black and blue. It’s the one physical thing you can SEE in my “invisible illness”, a sad little, weak and bruised body.
Showers. How I wish I could go back and really really enjoy a shower the way I used to. One good thing about my infusion though, in that 1st month or so, it makes me feel like I have MS lite. The pain is dulled like looking at MS through a steamy mirror, it’s all distorted and the pain of the water lessens. I’m still wrecked when I get out but it’s the little things that give me hope.
Crockpot dinners. Or do you call it a slow cooker? I say both! Either way, dinners that you can throw in a the crock of a pot all day and let it slow cook sound all good to me! This week we tried some delicious meals that took minutes to prepare and cooked while I napped and “tinkered” around the house.
This Slow Cooker Asian Caramelized Pork with Basmati Rice was an absolute delight! It was tasty, and easy and the whole family enjoyed it! We topped a bed of rice with our Asian pork and we devoured this delicious meal happily.
I loved this Slow Cooker Creamy Tomato Basil Chicken Breast dish because it looks and tastes like I worked really hard to make this delicious dinner for my hungry family! This creamy chicken dish was pretty damn good on a bed of pasta.
I love take out noodles. Salty ramen with ground beef? Yes please. This is a crazy easy Slow Cooker Beef Ramen that brings the take out to your kitchen easily and without much work. I like to cook my beef first to drain the grease and add the noodles for the last 20 minutes for the best slow cooked ramen dinner.
Slow Cooker Asian Caramelized Pork
4
servings20
minutes8-10
hoursIngredients
4-5 lbs. pork loin, trimmed of excess fat
- Wet Rub
2 tablespoons toasted sesame seed oil
2 tablespoons ginger powder
1 tablespoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon onion powder
- Slow Cooker Sauce
1/2 cup coconut milk
1/2 cup soy sauce
1/3 cup mirin
1/4 cup Asian sweet chili sauce
2 tablespoons fish sauce
1 tablespoon hot sauce
- Caramel Sauce
1 1/4 cup brown sugar, packed
1/4 cup water
Directions
Lightly spray a slow cooker with oil. Set aside.
Whisk together all of the Wet Spice Rub ingredients together in a medium bowl then massage it evenly all over the pork. Heat 2 tablespoons vegetable oil over high heat in a large cast iron skillet. Using tongs or 2 forks, sear pork on all sides until lightly browned. Place pork in prepared slow cooker.
In a medium bowl, whisk together Slow Cooker Sauce ingredients and pour all over pork.
Cook on LOW for 8 to 10 hours or on HIGH for 5-6 hours OR until pork is fall apart tender and easily shreds with a fork. At this point, remove pork to a cutting board until it is cool enough to shred.
Remove all of the sauce left in the slow cooker to a measuring cup. If there is less than 2 ½ cups then add enough water (or broth) to equal 2 ½ cup. Set aside. Add shredded pork back to the slow cooker now that you have removed the sauce.
To make the Caramel Sauce, add brown sugar and water to large skillet and boil over medium heat for 1 minute, whisking constantly. Don't overcook or it will harden! Slowly whisk in the 2 ½ cups Slow Cooker Sauce and simmer over medium high heat, whisking constantly until reduced and thickened, approximately 7-10 minutes. Pour desired amount of Caramel Sauce over shredded pork and toss until evenly coated. Serve with Rice.
Slow Cooker Creamy Tomato Basil Chicken Breast
4
servings15
minutes3-5
hoursIngredients
1 can diced tomatoes with Italian herbs
1 cup tomato pasta sauce
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
½ teaspoon dried basil
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ cup heavy cream
2 tablespoons cornstarch
3 boneless skinless chicken breasts
2 tablespoons basil, finely chopped
Directions
Add tomatoes, pasta sauce, garlic, salt, Italian seasoning, basil and pepper to a 3-6 quart slow cooker. Stir.
Whisk together cream and corn starch and add to the slow cooker.
Add chicken breasts and press down into the sauce.
Cook on low for 3-5 hours, until a meat thermometer reads 165 degrees F.
Stir in fresh basil and serve over pasta.
Ingredients
1 lb ground beef
2 carrots, cut into matchsticks
1 red bell pepper, sliced
2-3 green onions, chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
½ cup soy sauce
2 tablespoons brown sugar
2 cups beef stock
2 packs ramen noodles
Directions
To a large skillet over medium heat, brown the beef until no longer pink. Drain any grease, if necessary.
Pour the cooked beef into slow cooker.
Add the carrots, red bell pepper and green onions.
In a medium bowl, whisk together the garlic, soy sauce, brown sugar and chicken stock.
Pour the sauce into the slow cooker and stir to combine.
Cover and cook on LOW for 4-6 hours.
Approximately 30 minutes before serving, add the dry ramen noodles. [discard the seasoning packets]
Stir those around to make sure they get all covered and cook evenly.
When the noodles are tender, serve, topping with additional green onions.
Check out How Was Your Week, Honey? Episode #402 Girls and Boys. This week we get together to discuss: mistaken identity, start of the Season, Frostbite cocktail, The Next Hallmark Santa, sneaky kids, SOW, police action and RIPish Matthew Sweet.
This week flew by! SBean went to gymnastics, baked on Pro D Day, and did weekend gymnastics drop in too. She also performed in a Halloween music video with her musical theatre group! HBear had a special curling lesson with a few of the professional curlers in town for a tournament, went to a birthday party sleepover, worked and went to Penticon with my Sis, SPea, her Besty and her BF. We ended the week with my infusion!
