Some people dread the big 4-0. I’m not one of them. I clearly remember turning 30 and thinking to myself, this is not where I expected to be. It was a tough one for me. I had just given birth to HBear and although Ninja and I were in a happily committed relationship, we were not married. I had just finished university and was working a great job but I didn’t have a career. We were renting an adorable little house in a great neighbourhood but not in my ideal city. I was on the verge of being the woman I wanted to be but not quite there yet.
10 years later and things are completely different. My family is complete. My daughters have not only taught me what unconditional love is all about but they’ve taught me more about myself than I ever could have on my own. I am in a fantastic relationship that is an equal partnership that is also fun, romantic, and I learn something new from him every day. I own my own business and love what I do! I go to work for 5 hours a day and then I come home to my true calling, my family. I feel like I’m in the best shape of my life and I exercise regularly. I love cooking and no longer live off of fast food and take out but fresh farmed vegetables and meat raised by ranchers I know and respect.
I have a wonderful group of friends that have been with me through childhood, teenage years, and new friends from the past decade that feel more like family than friends. I am in a great place mentally with hobbies and things that I enjoy, just for me. I love yoga, taking time to read a good book, podcasting with my best friend/husband, and writing this blog. All of these things are for me.
In just a few short weeks we break ground and we will begin to build our first house! I’m so excited for what is to come!
I feel like I know myself much better than I did in my 20s or even my 30s. I know what I want and I know what I don’t want!
Over the past few weeks I’ve been thinking. I didn’t want to make a list of all the things I’d like to do in the next 40 years of my life… Like I said I am super happy with where I am and where my life is headed. Barring any unsuspecting tragedies I am excited for this next adventure, my 40s! So to celebrate my birthday I wrote a list of all the things that I’m not gonna give a shit about anymore 😂. Here it is, here is my list…
1. My vagina eating my jeans. This one needs no explanation 😂. For real though, I am no longer going to wear uncomfortable tight clothes to make an impression on anybody. Over the years I have realized that it is not sexy to wear itty bitty little clothes when it’s cold and it is definitely not sexy to continuously pull out your camel toe/wedgy. Sexy is a confident woman that feels comfortable in her own skin and her clothing.
2. Putting on my face every morning. I have super sensitive skin. When I wear make up every day my skin rebels. For so many years I spent so much money on make up and time on looking good for others. No more! When I want to go out and wear make up I will. When I want to go out and not wear make up… I will 😜.
3. Buying cheap drugstore face cream. Again, super sensitive skin but I hate spending money on my skin care. However, I’m getting older and so is my skin 😂 I don’t mind ageing and I feel that I get better looking with age 😂 however, just like the environment I don’t want to rush the inevitable. Putting in the money for good skin care is something I’m just going to have to get over and do it.
4. Boxed hair dye. I have used everything to dye my hair. Kool-Aid, hair dye, manic panic, sun in, and even peroxide 😆. I’m too old for that shit! There are some things that the pros just do better and dying my hair, I’m gonna leave that one to the experts.
5. Stupid diets and fads. Eating healthy is a way of life. I have accepted that. You will not catch me cleansing, keto dieting, or even counting points. Everything in moderation and living a healthy life will allow me to feel my best in a bathing suit way more than any diet ever would!
6. Feeling guilty for taking time for myself. This one is hard! Guilt is something that has weighed on my conscious from my earliest memories. Since I have had children it is gotten so much worse. However, I have come to realize that when I am happy, stress-free, and relaxed… so are my family and friends! Looking after myself doesn’t mean I’m selfish it means I love myself. I want my Girls to love themselves. I want to be a good role model for them and so therefore I will no longer feel guilty about treating myself kindly.
7. Worrying about any bitch that gives me the up and down look. Screw you hippie! In the past those snotty, “oh my god what is she wearing?” looks have kept me up all night. Recently I realized that women that look at other women like they are lesser are the ones with the real problem. They don’t have the confidence to be comfortable with themselves and therefore try to make others feel little. Their looks will no longer affect me, I will instead show compassion for those women that aren’t as strong as myself.
8. Picking up change on the street. Not because I don’t need it but because my back hurts when I reach down to get it 😳😆.
9. Rushing through stuff. Whenever I try to get something done quickly I always have to redo it. I’m done with doing things twice. I’m just going to take the time to do it right the first time.
10. Worrying about how clean my home is. I get it we own a cleaning company 😂 however, life is short and I’m not willing to spend my days off ignoring my family and cleaning up after them. Either we do it together or it waits for a time that works for me. I am in control… not my guilt, routine, or other peoples expectations.
11. High heels. Sigh. I love shoes. I used to wear 4 inch heels to work and I even refused to wear “walking shoes” in the dead of winter. I just learned how to walk across an icy parking lot in my wonderfully high heels! I still love a slender stiletto heel that make me feel like a sophisticated and glamorous tall woman! I love a pointy toe that tells everybody I’m here, look at me! However, when looking at my Louboutins versus my Nike runners the choice is obvious! Although I will reserve my heels for very special occasions I no longer feel like I need to wear them to feel worthy. I can hold my own without having my feet scream at me in pain 😉.
12. Keeping up with the Jones. I don’t need a huge wardrobe, fancy vacations, expensive cars, more square footage, or namebrand bags. Something I say to my kids all the time and I truly believe, “if you’re always wanting things that other people have you will never truly be happy with what you have.” #Truth
13. Worrying about ageing. Laugh lines and crows feet show character and a lifetime of happiness. Don’t cover them up! Be proud of them!
14. Tampons. Who the hell thought up these torturous devices that cost a fortune, causes toxic shock syndrome, and hurt like a mother bitch if not put in correctly? One of my biggest regrets is not finding the Diva Cup until this close to “the change” 😂. $30 and I have one device for the rest of my life. A little silicone cup that will never cause TSS, that I have to empty twice a day instead of 4 to 6 times a day and never leaks! #BestInventionEver
15. Filling the silence. This is a hard one for me as well. Silence makes me uncomfortable. There are few people that I can sit with in a room and not talk. My Sis, Ninja, the Girls, Dad, and WpgBesty. That’s pretty much it. Now that I’m older and so much wiser 😂 I’m choosing to embrace the silence. I have found that I can learn so much about a person by listening to what they don’t say. This ageing stuff certainly has made me feel smarter 😂.
16. Romanticizing my childhood. When I woke up the TV was on when I went to bed the TV was still on. My Mom was on the phone all the time… it was just stuck to the wall. I was glued to my Nintendo. Let’s stop playing the game where our childhood was better and think of it the way it truly is… Not better, just different.
17. Dreaming of being in the Olympics, a movie star, or a famous pop singer. I fully understand that I am probably too old to start training for the Olympics. I also understand that Madonna putting out new music just isn’t the same anymore. And hey if Meryl Streep is having trouble getting jobs, a newbie 40-year-old actress probably isn’t going to take the world by storm 😏.
18. Holding onto shit from my childhood. As a parent now I know, it’s hard! I didn’t come with a book and my kids didn’t either. My parents did the best they could and I am grateful for that. There is no fault and nobody to point the finger at. Whatever happened made me who I am and I am thankful.
19. Worrying about getting my hair wet. I always watch my family have fun in the lake/pool. Not anymore. Life is short, dive in! Trust that the sun will warm you when you get out and plus, nobody cares what your hair looks like at the beach!
20. Denying when I’m wrong. I’m 40 and experienced enough to know, nobody cares. Admit when you’re wrong and move on.
21. Living by the code: Work hard during the week, party harder on the weekends. New code: Work hard during the week so that I can relax on the weekend with my family.
22. Beating myself up. I refuse to be hard on myself when I fail. Failing is just practice and practice makes better.
23. Worrying about age. It’s not downhill after 40! It is a wonderful chance to stop living by superficial ideals and start living by a strong foundation of values.
24. Thinking of myself as a girl. I’m going to begin thinking of myself as a woman. I have experience and I AM a force.
25. Ignoring my boobs. There’s a lot to be said for a good bra. Yes, they are expensive. Yes, you should spend the money. Letting your nipples graze your belly button is not acceptable.
26. Leaving the house in a bad mood. Spreading negativity is not an option. In my next 40 years spreading kindness is my first priority.
27. Tanning. There was a time when I would lather myself up in baby oil and sizzle out in the sun. No more! Sunscreen is the only accessory I will use on a daily basis.
28. Dressing like a Mom. Who needs it? I know I’m a Mom but on date night I want to be Kristin and Kristin is allowed to be sexy and sassy. If I want to wear a low-cut shirt or a skirt that is way too short for a 40-year-old woman 😂 I will because I’m 40 years old and I can. #UseItOrLoseIt
29. Withholding information from other women. We need to help each other. If talking about my miscarriage or my Diva Cup or my experiences will help another woman… I’m going to DO it! Now is not the time to be silent, now is the time to speak up!
30. Making excuses. If I really want something I will rearrange my life to make it happen. No more excuses just results.
31. Taking shortcuts. That includes driving around incessantly looking for the closest parking spot to the door. Take the last stall! While I walk I can sing, think, use the time to be on my own. Walking is good and sometimes taking the road less traveled can make all the difference 😉.
32. Worrying about material things. Things are just at things. When I made my list of things to pack in case of a fire I realized there wasn’t much on the list. Things are just things. Burn the fancy candle, wear the pretty lingerie even on a weeknight, don’t save the chocolate – eat it! I want to live like there is an expiry date on my prized possessions. Use them, soak up the experience and put them in my memory for a day when I really need them.
33. Hating what I see in the mirror. 10 years ago when I looked in the mirror I didn’t like what I saw but now when I look I wish I was seeing that reflection from back then 😂Start fresh. Today I will love what I see in the mirror because in 10 years I’m going to wish that I look this good again.
34. Talking. I have experiences that I want to share with others but you know what? So do other people! Listen! Live through other people’s experiences and feel genuine happiness because they are happy. I don’t need to solve peoples problems I just need to listen to them express what they are feeling. In my 40’s I’m going to feel confident enough to let myself enjoy a conversation.
35. Saying yes. Totally overrated. Start saying no to others and yes to yourself. Know your boundaries and stick to them.
36. Being Safe. Safety is for the birds. I want to zip line and scuba dive and try weird food.
37. Thinking my experience equates to knowledge. I can’t forget to be a student. I am committed to always continue learning.
38. Debt. At this point in my life we have paid off all of our student loans, all of our lines of credit, all of our credit cards. We have money in our savings account, a car payment, and a soon to be mortgage. I feel that a mortgage and car payment are unavoidable but all the rest… Avoidable. I will not live beyond my means and only use what I need.
39. Stop thinking I’ll remember shit. I won’t. Dude 40! WRITE IT DOWN 😂.
40. Complacency. We are living in a very volatile time. When I was a kid when I thought about what I wanted to be when I grew up I didn’t know but I did know I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to make the world a better place. Over the years that got pushed to the back of my mind. Dating, school, work, children, family, and responsibilities became my main focus. I feel like I have all of my priorities balanced and now I can focus more on being what I want to be when I grow up. A difference maker. I want to find a cause and throw myself into it fully and completely and make a difference for my children and grandchildren’s future.
Check out our latest episode of How Was Your Week Honey? On Episode 114: Take Me To Augusta we are chatting about Wifi passwords, Fest of Ale, The Masters, whale puke, and we finish up our 90’s movie bracket! You can find it HERE!
Garlic Butter Chicken with Parmesan Cauliflower Rice
Adapted from Eatwell 101
4 chicken breasts
1/2 cup fresh Parmesan, finely grated
3 large cloves garlic, pressed
1 teaspoon paprika
1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
4 tablespoons butter, divided
1 bag riced cauliflower
1/2 cup white onion, chopped
2 large cloves garlic, pressed
2 tablespoons chicken stock
Juice of one lemon
1/4 cup fresh parsley, chopped
In a shallow plate, combine parmesan cheese, 3 cloves of garlic, paprika, and Italian seasoning. Season the chicken with salt and pepper; dredge in the parmesan mixture; shake off excess and set aside.
In a large skillet melt half the butter over medium-high heat. Cook chicken until golden on each side and cooked through. Transfer to a plate.
In the same pan, melt rest of the butter. Fry 2 cloves of garlic and onion for 1 minute until fragrant.
Add the riced cauliflower to the skillet and stir to mix everything together well and coat in melted butter. Cook, stirring regularly for 1 minute.
Stir in the chicken stock, about half the parsley, and thyme. Cook for one minute to reduce juices then add the lemon juice.
Adjust seasoning as needed. Stir in the remaining parsley. Top with pepper and more Parmesan.
